Lobbing the blog

 

Last Saturday began like most others, the familiar after affects of the previous nights antics more painful than having to sit through an entire episode of Made In Chelsea. Waking in unfamiliar accommodation bleary eyed I began to absorb my surroundings,  apparently that Barbie has hit hard times and is now doing interior design in the West of Ireland. Worryingly, this particular ladies dresser contained more products than Cara Pharmacy website, so I though it was only right to leave with the image of last nights beauty in my mind as opposed to waking up a bird with a face like a melted bollard.

 

Later while relaxing in mine, I was scrolling trough twitter and enjoying the banter on Soccer Saturday. I often imagine myself in the Jeff Stelling role, my mates making up the panel. In my version the lads are watching security cameras from the pubs and clubs in town. “Great build up play there, looked like he had to score but he fluffed it” “Dreadful stuff here, nothing for the crowd to get excited about” “She’s a bit like Liverpool very impressive up front but very suspect at the back”

 

One particular tweet stood out on my timeline that afternoon, the variable social media typhoon @GalwayHour had tweeted something about a West of Ireland Bloggers Networking event, I gave the organisers the benefit of the doubt, assuming my invite got lost in the post. After a small bit of research and a couple of DMs one of which received an extremely enthusiastic response I decided it was only fair to grace this event to meet some of my peers. How bad could it be; Afternoon Tea in the G Hotel and hopefully a few decent birds.

 

My arrival, as anticipated was greeted with a great deal of excitement, the host the wonderful Sinead aka @yummymummyfl made me extremely welcome. The event was very relaxed and enjoyable, obviously the sumptuous surrounds of the G Hotel lifted spirits but I loved the energy and passion of the group. As someone that appreciates fashion I loved hearing about the experiences and opinions of these terrific ladies. In fact I’ve been inspired to make a conscious effort to share my thoughts on the types of threads that help me attract so many ladies.

image

 

Blogging has been a terrific outlet for me, using my talent to improve the lives countless singletons makes me feel like Adi Roche without the trips to Chernobyl. Sure sport is the most important pastime man can have but to be fair I can’t recommend blogging enough. If you chose a topic you love, then its never a chore. Sadly I have had the misfortune of reading some blogs so woeful that those responsible should be sent to do hard labour as far away form any internet connection as is humanly possible. On the whole they can be brilliant fun and who knows where the journey will bring you. For some it may entertain your close family, for others it can take you on the bus to Galway to meet the man of your dreams….See you Saturday Princess

Here’s a link to some of the ladies I had the pleasure of meeting,  check out these brilliant blogs…..

Anna MUA
Yummy Mummy Fashion & Lifestyle
Makeup by Ruby Sue
Modest Styles
Beyond the Fashion
Crimson Threads
Babs Scribbles
Bec Boop
Innocent Illusion 
Town Mouse Country Mouse
Deeva Make Up
Justified by Jemo
The Galway Player
Emily Fashion Fiend

When Sally Unfollowed Harry

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness”, I often wonder if Dickens was looking back to the French Revolution or if indeed he was making a bold prediction about dating in the 21st century. We are blessed with incredible technology in every walk of life, all designed to making our lives easier and better, yet when it comes to dating these advances have simultaneously made dating easier and trickier. Breaking up is never a pleasant experience and now thanks to social media it’s become even more testing and harder to move on.

Once burning a few photos and cinema ticket subs was enough to cleanse the soul and start to mend a broken heart. Now you need a degree in software engineering and the stealth of the Russian Army to subtly digitally conceal your dirty digital linen. Changing your relationships status on Facebook is now one of people’s biggest concerns when they curl up and sheepishly gawk at their future….alone. Imagine the great love stories if they had access to social media, If Noah’s letters were anything to go by in The Notebook can you imagine the nonsense he’d have been posting on his wall.  Or when Sally warned Harry to: “try and find a way of not expressing every feeling you have, every moment that you have them” imagine if he was on Twitter, the film would be renamed; When Sally Unfollowed Harry.

Because our brains are wired from the beginning for bonding, breakups batter us biologically. Initially, says Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher, everyone reacts to rejection like a drug user going through withdrawal. Given that there’s a touch of a stalker in all of us social media feeds this addiction. Scanning his pictures to see who he’s chatting to or where he’s been photographed, checking her timeline to see how she’s coping, it’s simply too easy and not helping you. You can’t move on it you don’t let go, does that mean you shun all modern technology, absolutely not, but tread carefully.
 

On reflection social media is a lot like alcohol. Treated with respect it can bring tremendous enjoyment and fun but abused it can leave you in the horrors. When dealing with a break up, try to have perspective, don’t bottle up your feelings and talk about it…..to a real person not your computer. 

Know the tweet that’s one too many and please enjoy Facebook sensibly.

Don’t hate the Galway Player, hate the Galway Game….

Log on for Love

Online dating has evolved into an integral part of the dating landscape, like dreadful sets on TV3 panel shows, it’s something we just haveto accept and move on with. There’s no denying it provides a genuine alternative to the existing options. Now, thanks to the wonders of modern technology, you can get rejected from the comfort of your own living room or meet the girl of your dreams whilst sitting on the jacks.

The first stumbling block for most people is having to fill out their profiles. It’s basically a quiz about yourself, yet astonishingly most people fail spectacularly. I guess the main question you have to ask yourself is “To Lie or Not to Lie.” Trust me, you always lie. Or, as I like to think of it, portray yourself in the best possible light. Adding a couple of inches is always advisable, to your height that is. Age is another one that you can play around with. It’s only a number after all.

I have three different Plenty of Fish accounts. It’s fascinating to see the different responses I get to the same questions from different accounts, often people just tell you what you want to hear. Some people are so dishonest… 

Let’s be realistic here: when it comes to dating, looks are the deal breaker. The recent surge in population of dating app Tinder, apart from my endorsement, is due to the fact that it cuts straight to the chase.

A strong selection of photographs is key. Stay away from drunken group photos, or photos of you with a better looking friend or a hot girl. Personality is massively overrated. For most Irish relationships, you spend the initial periods together in a drunken/ hungover haze or playing text tennis, sending each other the kind of rubbish that could ruin a man’s reputation if they ever fell into the wrong hands. Physical attraction is the key to build a solid foundation in a relationship in my experience.

 

Dating sites have many benefits. Most peopleonline are open minded and looking to meet someone, so immediately you have common ground. A well written profile means no shortage of conversation, yet some women I’vesome across still make the conversation more awkward than an interview with Brendan O Connor. Some of the recent conversations I’vehad make me pity the future partner of thesecraic vacuums. Claiming that you want a guy with a good sense of humour yet not appreciating my side splitting one liners, it’s no wonder you’re single ladies.

When Sir Tim Berners-Lee invented the Internet 25 years ago, I doubt he could have dreamt that he’d enabled so many socially inept keyboard warriors to meet like minded losers. Dating is a numbers games, so cast out that rod and hopefully you get a nibble.

And remember folks, don’t hate the GalwayPlayer….. Hate the Galway Game! 

Valentines Day 2014

Welcome to the wonderful world of the Galway Player, Ireland’s top dating male expert. I’m here to tell it like it is, because as we all know women love an honest man. I’ll share my expertise and impart my wisdom, using my observations and experience to educate and empower the males of society. Read on so I can enlighten you about the ugly truth of dating so you don’t end up doing ugly birds
“You’re nobody until somebody loves you” according to X Factor winner James Authur, which is ironic because that’s exactly what he’ll be very soon. Sadly many single people fell that this is true, particularly this week leading up to what restaurants, florists and newsagents tell us it the most romantic day of them all. Valentines Day is a day dreaded by many single people, like turkeys at Christmas they can’t wait to see the back of it.
 
The great philosopher Capt Jack Sparrow once said, “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude to the problem.” I genuinely love Valentines Day it’s an even better opportunity than Christmas to manipulate the spirit of the event, it’s a holiday specifically about getting laid. Any glimpse of potential romance will stoke the faintest embers of passion in a lady, igniting an out of control bush fire at this time of year. All over the country there are single girls working away listening to the radio adverts inflating this importance of this celebration of love, every second song is some tortured soul pouring out his head to his beloved, while single Sally has nothing to look forward to this weekend except daydreaming about the Irish Rugby players while munching on rice cakes and celery sticks.
This weekend is going to be phenomenal for pulling; the same lines will work on EVERY single girl. The bars and clubs of the land will literally be dripping with enthusiastic singletons. After a full week of listening to all that Valentines nonsense any half decent single lad will be in more demand that Gareth Brooks tickets. Simple mind games will work a treat, reverse psychology about the benefits of single life will melt her into a quivering wreck, she’ll be in your bed quicker than you can say “I promise I’ll call you”.
Obviously for many the day evokes painful memories of failed romances or bemoaning unrequited emotions. It feels like everyone except you is in some kind of Hollywood Romcom type relationship. You start to question every aspect of yourself, are you that unlovelable?? It can be tough, but you need to be realistic, some of the ugliest, stupidest, most annoying people that I’ve ever had the misfortune of encountering are actually in relationships, so relax.
 
Please don’t get too worked up about this Valentines Day, just go out and have some fun, who knows you could meet the love of your life or even better, me, the love of one night.

Don’t hate the Galway Player hate the Galway Game……..
 
Follow me on Twitter @galwayplayer 

Galway Indo Jan

Welcome to the wonderful world of the Galway Player, Ireland’s top male dating expert. I’m here to tell it like it is, using my observations and knowledge to educate and inform. I can tell you the ugly truth about dating so you avoid scoring ugly birds.
 
Most embrace the potential of the New Year with the hopeless optimism of a deluded, diabolical talent show contestant. Sadly by now most of you have given up on your feeble attempts at self improvement which lets be honest girls of Galway is badly needed. If Christmas has taught me anything it’s that a little effort can go a long way, ladies properly applied makeup, more revealing dresses and everybody wins.
 
One of the main resolutions many lonely hearts will make is to ensure that before Santa Clause makes his merry way again that they will find love. While I would rather jump off Blackrock during the recent storms, I can see the merits of having a regular port of call during those bleak listless winter nights, some one to make you sandwiches and all the other stuff women are good at.  An accommodating companion to tide you over to the summer is fine in my book but don’t just pick someone for the sake of it, don’t fall into the trap that causes many people to end up with mingers.
 
We all know rising tide raise all ships (and destroy cars and roads) well this is particularly true when it comes to the world of dating. An average bird surrounded by absolute hounds will look more attractive than she actually is. Many guys are so happy to have someone finally return a flicker of interest that they latch on to it and dive into a relationship before they examine the alternatives  It’s the Pippa Middeltons Arse effect, everyone was raving about Kate till we saw that ass.
The Beautiful South should really change the lyrics of their famed hit to
And when dull and dutiful are multiple,
They become so blonde and beautiful.
 
When your nights out are as predictable as the jokes in Mrs Browns Boys then you need to reexamine your approach. If you go to the same pub with the same people every weekend drink the same drink and wonder why you never meet anyone, cop on. Eventually you’ll end up dating the female equivalent of Rich Tea biscuits, but that you’ve battled to convince yourself is the one, sure your granny will love her but she lacks any real appeal.

January is a great time to make changes in your life, exercise, diet, a new wardrobe, the list is endless. However so is a night in with a bird you have jumped into a relationship with. Dodgy Christmas presents are easy to return and forget about, dodgy girlfriends……not so much.

And remember folks don’t hate the Galway Player…… hate the Galway Game.

Dating Venues – Creole Galway

 

First dates seem to be as challenging for many Irish singletons as parallel parking is for women. For a nation famed for providing the world with verbose and socially skilled natives we strangely struggle with the preliminary stages of the courtship process. Most lads think dating is a few drunken fumbles in a badly lit nightclub, failing to realise the potential rewards of making the effort to bring a bird out for a night.

 

As Ireland’s premier male dating expert I am here to make things that little bit easier for you guys buy reviewing some of the best places in Galway to take the little lady.

 

This weekend I took my gorgeous date to Creole on Domnic St in Galway city. I like the lay out of the venue it caters for groups but is very cosy for couples too. The key to any date is preparation, I would recommend you check out the menu online before you go there first in case you don’t know your Jambalaya from your Etouffee, the staff are extremely helpful and knowledgeable of the menu but your own research can make it look like you belong in such an establishment and are therefore are a quality prospect.

 

I’m not going to bore you with a detailed food review, this blog is basically a reconnaissance mission for Galway gents. The food was top class; genuinely my date was as impressed with each course as she was with my wonderful conversation skills. We had the house white which is reasonably priced at €4.95 per glass. The menu has plenty of variety which will keep satisfy most pallets, the portions are so generous and delicious that like me I’m sure you’ll fight to clear your plate. Desert was divine, swapping bites added to the romance of the night.

 

So lads here’s what you need to know:

Price                Great value

Menu              Plenty of choice

Atmosphere    Good  

Service            Fast, friendly and cute

 

 

Likelihood of sex after bringing her here…..Very good

 

If your bird has genuine potential then I’d have no hesitation in recommending Creole.  

Merry Xmas

 

So it’s that time of the year again, the season of giving. Giving out that is: about the weather, the traffic, the queues, your family, the tv schedule. If only the shops or the media could warn us instead of allowing the holiday to creep up on us like a big arse on an Irish woman. I love the festive season myself, plenty of great nights out meeting old friends, rousing renditions of classic Christmas anthems in sweaty bars and that extra whiff of desperation that emanates from the unattached this time of year.

 

While the sauvy singletons relish the opportunities which are more abundant than repeats of episodes of Fr Ted, the season signals a major challenge for the coupled up of society. At Christmas apparently that person you’ve been spending the majority of your free time with suddenly seemingly becomes a random stranger who you know nothing about. Admittedly it’s not easy to listen to the incessant chirping of your bird at the best of times but guys wise up. Create a folder in your phone, call it Fantasy Football so she’ll never check it and record the names of shoes, perfume or whatever other girly nonsense she mentions that she likes during the year and you’re sorted. The beauty here is that you get her something she actually wants and you get brownie points for “listening” to her.

 

 

It’s probably too late for that now but fear not. There’s no getting away from having to spend your hard earned dosh on her so at least get value for money. Look at Christmas as an opportunity to refine your other half. It’s about time guys wised up to this area where women excel. If Ivan Pavlov could do it with a few dog biscuits surely a thoughtful gift can receive the optimum response to condition her. If she’s lacking in the kitchen department maybe a cookbook and subsequently a small gift after each gastronomic success. Similarly if she looks like her make up was applied with a trowel or her fashion style wouldn’t be out of place in a bingo hall can I suggest So Sue Me’s excellent book, tell her she reminded you of the stunning author and pray she’ll learn a thing or two.

 

Adult toys are always risky, it is easier to shop online nowadays and people are becoming more open minded towards them. You need to know your partner very well before selecting one of these but as a stocking filler they can work especially the new range of lube being developed for the Irish market, forget Mango or Passionfruit flavours, watch your lady go crazy when you pull out the Bulmer’s, Taco Chips or Barrys Tea flavoured lubricant.

 

There are an infinite amount of gifts available to please herself, women like shoes, candles, being brought out for dinner, nights away, anything pink. Lads please don’t fall into the trap that all to many guys do at this particular time of year. It always happens you’re together a while, she’s brought it up a few times, you cant think of anything good to buy here so you take the lazy option and propose to her…..

 

Don’t hate the Galway Player hate the Galway Game……….

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 8,776 other followers